We all have them: ghastly travel moments we’d rather forget. I’ve had plenty. The escalator at a Moscow Metro station springs to mind, as does a riverside in Mumbai, where locals roared with laughter at the sight of me. I’ve been stranded in my pyjamas (orange, striped) on a railway platform on the Polish-Russian border. I’ve fallen down a long flight of steps at Pedrodvorets near St Petersburg. I’ve brought the London-Paris express to a standstill and caused turmoil in the Bank of America. And more.
But the worst moment ever was in
Bath. This lovely English city is the site of some of some particularly fine Roman ruins. Finest of all are its Roman Baths. I went there specially to see them, travelling down by train from London. I booked a proper tour, just to be on the safe side. I wanted a good look at this little piece of Britain's ancient history. Aussies are interested in things other than sport.
It was mid-winter at the time, and very cold. Our guide marched us through at a cracking pace, exhorting us to stay close. Now I know why.
Photo by Rightindex
After viewing various subterranean sights, we reached the pièce de résistance, the Great Bath. Unwisely forgetting to "stay close", I walked to the edge. Suddenly, and for no apparent reason, I was plunging into the steaming green waters. The noise was colossal – a tidal wave.
Thank every Roman god that ever was, I remained upright, teetering on a flight of submerged steps, in up to my knees. The guide kept talking and walking; the rest of the group somehow remained straight-faced. No one commented, though one kind soul helped me clamber out.
Later in the day, as we lined up for a group photo elsewhere in the city, I happened to glance at my legs. Where they’d been in the water, my black tights had blanched to a greenish grey... and still no one had commented! Oh, Britain’s tourists are polite.
I’ll never know why I went into those waters. There was no one behind me, no one beside me, and I sure as heck didn’t want to. Was I the recipient of a Roman shove? Who can say? But, if you happen to find yourself standing by Bath’s Great Bath, and feel drawn inexorably to the water’s edge, STEP BACK. You never know what might happen…
On a serious note, the Roman Baths in Bath are perhaps the most famous relic of Rome’s 400-year reign in Britain. They're outstanding - the finest of their kind in the world - and definitely worth hopping on a Bath-bound train to see. But just watch out. And don’t say you weren’t warned.
Photo by Nicole Blommers